Prostate Massagers for Beginners

A prostate massager is an anal toy shaped to reach the prostate. For a first one, the essentials are the same as for any anal toy: a flared base, a modest size, plenty of lube and no rush. Here is where the prostate is, what makes a toy suited to it, and how to start, with links to the sources.

Where the prostate is

Cleveland Clinic describes the prostate as a small, firm, partly muscular gland below the bladder and in front of the rectum. It surrounds part of the urethra and adds fluid to semen. It’s about the size of a walnut and weighs about an ounce (30 grams). You can’t touch it directly, but you can feel it through the anus, or from outside through the perineum, the area between the scrotum and the anus.

What makes a toy prostate-friendly

• A curve. Planned Parenthood notes that toys can be slightly curved to reach the G-spot or prostate. Scarleteen adds that people with prostates may enjoy a toy gently pressing or vibrating against it.
• A flared base or handle. Planned Parenthood says anything used anally needs a flared base or another way to pull it out. Scarleteen explains why: the vagina ends at the cervix, but the anal canal leads into the rectum with no natural stopping point, so a toy without a base can slide in and be hard to remove. A 2018 clinical review notes that most sex-toy emergency room visits involve a vibrator lost in a man’s anal cavity.
• A body-safe, non-porous material such as silicone, which is easier to clean. See sex toy materials.

Types you’ll find

• Hands-free massagers. Aneros describes its massagers as hands-free, powered and controlled by your own anal muscle contractions. The brand traces its history to the 1990s.
• Vibrating massagers add a motor, and some can be controlled from a remote or an app, for example from Lovense and Magic Motion.
• Small plugs can be an easier first step if you’re new to anal play. See butt plugs.

Choosing a first size

Start small. For beginners, Scarleteen suggests simple silicone plugs under three inches long and about finger-thick at the widest point. Cleveland Clinic advises avoiding large or heavily ridged toys, never letting the base of a toy go inside the anus, and stopping if pain increases or doesn’t go away. Compare the insertable length and widest diameter in each product’s specifications.

Lube and going slowly

The anus doesn’t make its own lubrication, so Planned Parenthood says to use plenty of lube; without it, anal play can be painful and even unsafe. Scarleteen recommends a thick, long-lasting water-based lube without glycerin or alcohol, and says not to use silicone lube with silicone toys. Its main rules are to go slowly, keep things lubricated and listen to your body: pain means slow down, add lube or go smaller.

Aneros says lube should be used with all of its massagers, water-based for its silicone-coated models, and advises against warming lubes. See the lube guide.

Pleasure, not treatment

Prostate toys are sold for pleasure. A 2018 Cochrane review found it uncertain whether prostate massage helps the symptoms of chronic prostatitis or pelvic pain, based on very low-quality evidence. If you have prostate or urinary symptoms, see a doctor.

Cleaning

Wash the toy after every use following the brand’s instructions, and use a condom on it if it’s shared. Our cleaning guide covers each material, and anal toys for beginners has more on choosing a first anal toy.

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